The Truth About Your Child’s “Bad Behavior” | With Coach Keenan
What if the behavior frustrating you most isn’t actually the problem—but a signal that something deeper is happening? In this episode, Coach Seth and Coach Keenan challenge parents, educators, coaches, and leaders to look beyond a child’s behavior and understand what may be happening underneath the surface.
Through the lens of nervous-system regulation and Polyvagal Theory, Coach Seth breaks down what happens when kids move from feeling safe and connected into fight, flight, or shutdown—and why adults can either help regulate that response or unintentionally make it worse. From a powerful story of a student running away during a Summit experience to real examples from Five Star Life’s LIFT program, this conversation provides practical tools for replacing shame and control with curiosity, connection, accountability, and intentional leadership.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- Why “bad behavior” may actually be communication from a dysregulated nervous system
• A simple breakdown of Polyvagal Theory and the different nervous-system states
• Why adults must regulate themselves before trying to regulate a child
• The powerful question: “What’s happening inside of you right now?”
• Coach Seth’s story of responding differently when a student ran away during a Summit experience
• How curiosity can uncover what’s actually driving anger, fear, shutdown, or defiance
• Why shame and embarrassment can push kids further into survival mode
• A powerful example from Five Star Life’s LIFT program showing what happens when an adult chooses regulation over reaction
• Why these principles apply far beyond parenting—to classrooms, coaching, leadership, marriage, and the workplace
• How Five Star Life is helping educators and volunteers create environments where students feel safe, connected, and ready to learn
The mission at Five Star Life :
Transforming Students’ Lives by Challenging the Way they Think, Act, and Lead.
Go to fivestarlife.org to learn more about how we’re changing students’ lives.
The Five Star Life App: Download “Five Star Life” on the App Store or Google Play Store.
Subscribe for weekly conversations on mindset, personal leadership, emotional intelligence, parenting, and the power of rising above your circumstances.
Connect with us on Instagram, TikTok, and all platforms @TheFiveStarLife